January 25 (Have You Been Set Up For Pastoral Sexual Abuse? Part I) - Free Indeed - Abundant Living After Abuse

January 25

What is Domestic Violence (DV)? What happens to the family unit when DV exists? What is Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA)? In this post, I will be introducing dynamics within a series of cycles that include DV & CSA. DV & CSA have cycles that are vicious and can be part of our lives long into adult hood. However, there is a new cycle that has become alarming. The newest cycle that is impacted by the first two cycles, is creating re-victimization particularly in pastoral sexual abuse. 

What is this new cycle? Let us first journey through the first two cycles. Please pay close attention to all the characteristics in both IntraCycle 1 & IntraCycle 2 because the newest cycle involves most, if not all of both cycles. Survivors of these types of cycles have impacted our judicial system, mental health system and also how we advocate on behalf of survivors within IntraCycle 3.

Domestic Violence (DV)

Loss of power and control 

Spiritual/Belief System Abuse 

Cursing, Belittling, Humiliation 

Hitting, Punching, Kicking 

Homicide 

Corporal Punishment 

Rape 

Forced Abortions 

Control 

Perceived or Actual Threats or Harm 

Manipulation 

Forced Authority

Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA)

Sexual Advances

Loss of Power

Grooming  

Spiritual/Belief System Abuse 

Keeping Secrets 

Touching Private Areas

Being Isolated from Others   

Inappropriate Sexual Behavior

Contact for Sexual Intent (e.g., fondling, kissing and petting) 

Manipulation Forced Authority 

Perceived or Actual Threats or Harm

The Effects Of Childhood Traumas (CT)

The characteristics of trauma in males and females with histories of (childhood sexual abuse, physical abuse and emotional abuse) tend to produce the following:

Poor coping skills

A life of crime 

Homicides 

High school dropouts 

High unemployment rate 

Suicide 

Eating Disorders 

Emotional immaturity 

Lack of or Low Self-Esteem 

History of substance abuse 

History of teenage pregnancies 

History of abortions 

Promiscuity 

Propensity to continue cycles of abuse (domestic violence, sexual, emotional) into adulthood 

Depression and mental illness

The list is endless. These are just a few ways in which childhood sexual abuse (CSA) affects and debilitates individuals in adulthood. These three cycles are not in order because they can manifest at any time during the lifespan of the individual and the relationship.

IntraCycle 1

Domestic Violence—How exposure to domestic violence (DV) in childhood attributes to adult relationships and domestic violence.

The propensity to continue cycles of abuse (domestic violence, sexual, emotional) into adulthood is common and higher within this group. The cycle continues which creates predators/abusers and victims. Males with histories of childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence and emotional abuse by a caregiver, guardian, family member or clergy, usually continue this cycle throughout many relationships well into adulthood. They seek out partners they can manipulate and control.

Poor Coping Skills

Narcissistic Tendencies

High School Dropouts

High Unemployment rate

Emotional Immaturity

History of Substance Abuse

History of Teenage Pregnancies

Promiscuity

Spiritual Abuse

Physical Abuse

Homicidal Tendencies (if partner leaves)

Mental Illness or Mental Disorders

Males with these histories (childhood sexual abuse, physical abuse and emotional abuse), most often teenage males may become the abused, the abusers and/or predators following a cycle with which they are most familiar. The two cycles interlock and co-morbidity, with high levels of mental duress and depression, will circumvent any prospect of healing or recovery because there is a sense of normality.

In the absence of physical abuse in a domestic violent relationship, the abuser/predator may tend to use emotional, spiritual and mental abuse to control their partner. In doing so, the victim often believes she cannot leave because of many factors (e.g., belief system, mind control/brain washing, or perceived or actual threat of harm). Unfortunately, research shows that females “with a history of childhood abuse have had experiences in which they were forced to endure psychological and/or physical pain in order to preserve the relationship with the attachment figure, and that this pattern is likely to persist in adulthood.” (Griffing et al, 2005, p.342).

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