(Age of Wisdom) - Free Indeed - Abundant Living After Abuse

January 31

One day, a young lady was perched at her window contemplating death or life. Death was her first thought then life. You see, several years earlier, this young lady was befriended by an older woman from church whose intentions were not Christ based but being that this young lady was vulnerable and wanted to be loved she believed everything that this older woman told to her.  This older woman introduced her only son to this hurting woman who did not have any respect for herself and looking for love in all the wrong places. After abiding by this older woman’s requests, suggestions and living according to the older women’s demands, one day she realized that she really had no one other than the people that used her.

Broken and torn, this young mother of two came to a crossroad leaving her abusive husband and leaving the extra marital affair and her church. As she began to try to build her life with both her daughters she found herself and her daughters suffering hunger, sadness and loneliness. Her former alcoholic, manipulative and abusive husband was not financially supportive and the church would not help because she had left her husband and the church. She found herself late on her rent by two months, no gas in the car, no insurance and laid off from all three of her jobs, without a car, she could not get anywhere and then the older woman who used her was not being supportive because she got what she wanted, she wanted her son to leave the woman that he was with by manipulating the young woman and her son to get together.

This young woman was truly in the valley, a place of anger, alone and experienced self hatred. All seemed futile. Within a matter of 4 months she inevitably decided to give her daughters to her abusive husband in 1996. After he got her daughters he turned around and restricted this young mother from seeing her daughters until 2003 when she built enough courage to face her husband who was also her abuser. This woman was not on drugs, prostituted and did not steal or do bad things. Her only issue was that she was just looking for love in all the wrong places and terribly misdirected by others. The young woman in this story could not go back to a church because of her past, she was paralyzed and she felt that she was not worth anything. Satan used her past to keep her at bay.

How many of these two types of women do we have in our congregation, in our families, I our lives and what are we willing to do for and about them? As I get older and pray wiser, I ask God to give me the will to be the older woman as mentioned in the Bible.  What does the bible say about the older woman’s role? “the older woman likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things, that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed”. Titus 2:3-5

There are two sets of older women, those that are slanderers, irreverent and not sound in the faith. The other older woman is reverent, not a slanderer and helps the younger woman. We all have a choice to be one or the other and that choice depends on us.

The story does not end there… What ever happened to that young lady? Well, that young lady is now a more mature woman and finally came returned to Christ in 2004 because another older woman who is founded on Christ principals found in Titus 2 took her under her spiritual wings. The young lady in the story is in love with Jesus Christ, in love with her new husband of 17 years, developing relationships with her daughters, grandson and twin granddaughters and is passionate about helping the younger women.  She went back to school and achieved her B.S. in Psychology, is a Lay Evangelist, Entrepreneur, Speaker and an Author. This young lady now a mature woman has forgiven all her abusers, betrayers and has asked for forgiveness of the things she has done unto others. Hurting people do hurt others. God has made some great changes in the life of this specific woman and she is thankful every day.

As she gets older, she prays and hopes to help other women that find themselves where this woman has been. This woman is me… and I am happy to say that as we get older we should help the women and men who are in much need. We must reach these younger women with love and follow the formula that God has given us.

As older women I believe that we must love everyone that comes into our lives no matter what life they have chosen because of their actions. Empowering others can happen and it starts with a village. Are you in?