January 23 (The Wise Five Part I) - Free Indeed - Abundant Living After Abuse

January 23

When I was a child, I learned of the Bible story of The Ten Virgins and this story always bothered me greatly.  I guess the reason that it bothered me was because I understood this story as a child with literal meaning but not with a spiritual meaning. The story takes place in Matthew 25:1-13

“Then the kingdom of heaven shall be likened to ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom.  Now five of them were wise, and five were foolish. Those who were foolish took their lamps and took no oil with them, but the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. But while the bridegroom was delayed, they all slumbered and slept.

“And at midnight a cry was heard: ‘Behold, the bridegroom is coming; go out to meet him!’ Then all those virgins arose and trimmed their lamps. And the foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ But the wise answered, saying, ‘No, lest there should not be enough for us and you; but go rather to those who sell, and buy for yourselves.’ And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding; and the door was shut.

“Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, ‘Lord, Lord, open to us!’ But he answered and said, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, I do not know you.’

“Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming.

Okay, so far we have five virgins who prepared themselves to have more oil and the other five for whatever reason did not. So as a child and into my pre-teens what bothered me most is the part where five virgins were in need of oil and the other five would not share when all I heard as a child was sharing is caring. Where was the caring when the five were not sharing? This is not the Christian way of treating others. I thought that the five who wouldn't share were meanies.

It was not until I reached adulthood when I returned to my our Lord after being away from church for many years that the story of The Ten Virgins took on a new meaning for me.  I had a spiritual epiphany. What does oil and trimming your wick mean in this story? Well in those days before electricity and batteries, everyone used candles or a lamps for light. If you ever made a candle you know that you have to trim the wick (piece of fabric or the string) that is the link that keeps both oil and string that provides light when introduced to fire. Too much wick can cause a fire and too little string could burnout quickly.
Hence, by trimming the wick you will know approximately how many hours you might have of light. Not having oil but having too much wick doesn’t do a thing. You must have oil and wick to produce light. People back in the day knew to prepare their candles/lamps so that if they run out of oil, they would have extra on the side.

The five foolish
My question still left me with why would they not take oil with them? I cannot answer this question. But if you read the story in its spiritual nature, they are not talking about virgins per se but rather they are talking about so called "Christians". You know, those who call themselves followers of Christ. Also for the record, the Bible uses women simply to make a point.
When you read this story from this a spiritual perspective, you can see that Jesus is referring to his people. So, if OIL represents the Holy Spirit and these five foolish virgins did not take oil, then the meaning of this story changes to the virgins not being filled with the Holy Spirit. Sure, they are Christians by name only but not in spirit. Hence, they took it for granted that they would have oil at their disposal or that the bridegroom would come before their oil ran out.
The Five wise
On the other hand you see that the five wise virgins were prepared, they had their oil and then some, to keep the fire going until the Lord and Master came. They did not presume to know when he would be coming but they knew that when he arrived, they would be ready for him. The five wise virgins were confident that their Lord was coming and because of this, they did not want to risk anything that may cause them the opportunity to be with the bridegroom.
Boundaries
This is where I had a problem. Because of my abuse, I always wanted to help others that were down cast, down in their luck or simply give the shirt of my back. Let me stop here for a moment, I am not saying we are not to help others in need but what I am saying is that I was helping others because I wanted to be loved. Clearly, this is not the reason anyone should help others. Therefore, I used to think that if I would have been a wise virgin, I would have given some of my oil to one of the foolish virgins because I wanted to be liked, loved or accepted. This are boundary issues.
Okay, so how do childhood traumatic experiences (i.e. sexual abuse, rape, physical abuse, mental abuse and spiritual abuse) compromise boundaries psychologically and spiritually? Abuses in childhood if not resolved will causes a disconnection that ultimately keeps us from having an abundant life, healthy leaving, and a strong connection with the Holy Spirit (OIL). If we are in need to be liked, loved, appreciated and approved by others, we lose sight of what God wants for us and compromises our connection with the Holy Spirit. When this happens, we try to save others when God is saying no. We give of ourselves to people who don’t love us which then breaks our spirits. We choose the wrong friends, mates and even relationships that rob us of our OIL in our lamps because connection is broken with the Holy Spirit.
When we are broken and in a state of bitterness it does not allow us to be led by the Holy Spirit but rather led by different spirits (i.e. complacency, confusion, bitterness, entitlement, pride, etc.). 

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